Notes from my mini social media break
I took the month of January "off" from social media. Here's what I learned.
In keeping with the theme of my word of the year, clarity, last month I decided to do something I’ve never done: I took some time off of social media. I know that might not seem groundbreaking, and maybe some of you have avoided social media all these years (I commend you!); but since it came bursting onto the scene just as I became an official adult, social media—Instagram and Facebook, specifically—have been a part of my daily life in some way.
Despite the obvious negative aspects of social media, I’ve always been able to appreciate the positives, as well. Like many people, I use social media to connect with others—especially those who might live far away, or who I might not get to be in regular touch with. I also use it as a sort of personal scrapbook (both of my pages are private), and update with photos of the kids as they grow, achievements, celebrations, etc. I use it as a true highlight reel in that way, instead of a diary documenting every thought or occurrence. I also enjoy sharing inspirational or encouraging content and of course love a funny meme. Again, this ties back into connection and relatability, and I think this is where social media shines.
However, toward the end of last year, I found myself feeling constantly distracted and foggy-brained. Not that it was social media’s fault, but I had a sneaking suspicion that social media wasn’t helping. I would absent-mindedly check it in free pockets of time, like waiting to pick up my daughter from preschool or in line at the grocery store. I noticed that this impulse to check social media was just an excuse to fill time, but by filling every moment of time I was missing out on perhaps much-needed nothingness and noticing. I was missing out on being with my own thoughts for a minute, on picking up on what was going on around me. And maybe most importantly I was spending time consuming that I could have been spending creating.
Heading into a new year, with the word clarity guiding me, I knew I wanted to create more. I wanted to use my time differently. I wanted to be more intentional. I wanted to feel clear-headed. And so I became curious about social media’s role in my day-to-day life: what would happen if I took the two platforms that I do use away for just a month? Would it make any difference? Would I notice any changes in my habits or my thinking?
So, on January 1st, I dragged both apps into a hidden folder on my phone. Here are a few things I learned over the course of the month:
-For the first few days, I reflexively looked for the apps with my thumb. I would scroll without even thinking about it, absent-mindedly looking for those apps to fill a random moment of time. This quickly taught me that much of my use of social media was truly reflexive and not intentional. I think I’ve always known this was true to some extent but proving it to myself was really eye-opening.
-I ended up using the Pinterest app on my phone a ton; way more than I ever did when other social media apps were “available.” I didn’t view it as traditional social media and didn’t use it every day, so I never considered hiding it away with the others. So, in the absence of Instagram or Facebook to check in on, I found myself scrolling Pinterest. It wasn’t lost on me that I was still filling some free time with scrolling, but I did notice a big difference in how often I used it and for how long. The algorithm wasn’t designed to suck someone in the way the others’ are, to the benefit of my brain and productivity. I also found myself more uplifted and motivated after scrolling on Pinterest, and in the month of January we completed a master bedroom makeover which I will attribute at least a little bit to the push of inspiration from Pinterest. I wasn’t creating while I was scrolling, but at least the scrolling made me want to create.
-It was sort of nice to take pictures and know that they were only for me, not to share with the rest of the world. And if I really wanted to share a picture, I sent it to the person I wanted to share it with. But it was a good way for me to keep the dopamine-hit of “likes” in check and to keep certain moments precious and private, if not preserved. On that note…
-I became acutely aware during my time off of Instagram and Facebook how often those platforms are used by our friends and family (and news sources) for announcements. I missed posts about the passing of people’s pets and family members, pictures from friends’ vacations, videos of other friends’ babies hitting milestones for the first time. It made me realize how commonplace it is for us to use social media as a “hub” for connection. Yes, it would be ideal to send those pictures and announcements and videos one-by-one to each friend via text—even more ideal to make phone calls, etc.—but the reality of our busy lives is that social media is an easily accessible place for us all to come together. This takeaway in particular was a good reminder to connect as much as possible with those I care about off of social media, and also made a point for the good that social media can do if only we have the self-awareness and discipline to shut out the rest.
By the end of the month, I could say that I definitely was more “productive” in the ways I hoped to be by not using social media as a crutch and time-filler. I wrote more here on this Substack than I ever have, as mentioned above we completed a bedroom makeover, I finished two books that have been in my TBR pile, listened to podcasts and lots of music. I also concluded that I missed connecting with others and seeing photos of babies and animals and announcements of good news or hard news. I missed offering support, or comfort, or congratulations, or a big ol’ heart-eye emoji.
And so, as with most things in life, my conclusion is that two things can be true. I think social media can absolutely be a positive thing, and an essential way to connect with people that we care about and even with our community and beyond, but it has to be used with discretion for those things, or else our own lives will slip right on by while we watch 15 second videos of others living. This will be an ongoing effort, but I believe we can do it. And if we find ourselves falling back into old patterns, the trusty hidden folder on our phones is only a swipe away.